The Smug Mug
The recent news that Starbuck's coffee outlets will soon out number McDonald's around the world reached me with a shuttering silence, sending a Frappuccino chill up my spine which settled above my left eye like a brain freeze from too many PopRocks washed down with a Slurpee.
To be honest I was never big a coffee drinker. The bitter, watered down chemical taste had always left me longing for something a little more... tasty. If I needed a caffeine fix, it was always easier to get it from a can of Coke, or a few No-Doze, that didn't produce the gastrological side effects of pouring 16 ounces of bitter bean water down my gullet.
Then I had a chance to live in Italy and my snobbish addiction began. Just about every corner in every city of Italy has a place where you can belly up for a cup of delicious dark brown elixir that is served with dignity, in a reasonably sized 8-oz china cup, or shot glass radiating with fragrances and tastes from every genus of mineral and vegetable imaginable... woody, grassy, nutty, fruity, and more. The best part of ordering at a cafe in Europe at 8:30 am is that you will get exactly what you request. Unlike the obsessive US coffee chain stores, serving up over sized, caffeine fortified bean water, where the Barista is a sassy gum chewing freshman, who initiates a line of questioning for one cappuccino that sounds like Sgt. Friday interrogating Alex Trebec. " Do you want that Grande, or Tall? What kind of milk, skinny, soy, lactose free? Did you want cinnamon, carmel, chai infusion...?" Dear God, it's not even 9:am and I have to make a half dozen executive decisions for a friggin cappuccino that is going to be served like a Big Gulp in a paper cup the size of a barrel, with enough foam to cover the emergency tarmac at JFK.
It leaves me longing for my surly Roman Barista with a PhD in Piazza S.Eustachio. Sure its a bustling mob scene and tables are hard to come by, but I get what I asked for at this crusty hole in the wall. A delicious cup of "real" coffee served with dignity, in a china cup, by a man who knows what he is doing, with no questions asked, for .75 cents.
While the hard working American has been busy with email, commuting, shopping and too many hours at the office, the chain stores have diluted their tastes, esthetics, communities, and regional economies, and the average Joe has swallowed it with a cup of crappy coffee that costs $3 dollars, what a shame.
To be honest I was never big a coffee drinker. The bitter, watered down chemical taste had always left me longing for something a little more... tasty. If I needed a caffeine fix, it was always easier to get it from a can of Coke, or a few No-Doze, that didn't produce the gastrological side effects of pouring 16 ounces of bitter bean water down my gullet.
Then I had a chance to live in Italy and my snobbish addiction began. Just about every corner in every city of Italy has a place where you can belly up for a cup of delicious dark brown elixir that is served with dignity, in a reasonably sized 8-oz china cup, or shot glass radiating with fragrances and tastes from every genus of mineral and vegetable imaginable... woody, grassy, nutty, fruity, and more. The best part of ordering at a cafe in Europe at 8:30 am is that you will get exactly what you request. Unlike the obsessive US coffee chain stores, serving up over sized, caffeine fortified bean water, where the Barista is a sassy gum chewing freshman, who initiates a line of questioning for one cappuccino that sounds like Sgt. Friday interrogating Alex Trebec. " Do you want that Grande, or Tall? What kind of milk, skinny, soy, lactose free? Did you want cinnamon, carmel, chai infusion...?" Dear God, it's not even 9:am and I have to make a half dozen executive decisions for a friggin cappuccino that is going to be served like a Big Gulp in a paper cup the size of a barrel, with enough foam to cover the emergency tarmac at JFK.
It leaves me longing for my surly Roman Barista with a PhD in Piazza S.Eustachio. Sure its a bustling mob scene and tables are hard to come by, but I get what I asked for at this crusty hole in the wall. A delicious cup of "real" coffee served with dignity, in a china cup, by a man who knows what he is doing, with no questions asked, for .75 cents.
While the hard working American has been busy with email, commuting, shopping and too many hours at the office, the chain stores have diluted their tastes, esthetics, communities, and regional economies, and the average Joe has swallowed it with a cup of crappy coffee that costs $3 dollars, what a shame.
Labels: cafe, cappuccino, chain store, coffee, starbucks

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